What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
they need to just BURY HIM!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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