He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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