I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
