brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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