another moral hangover. fuck.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
