the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
