I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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