Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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