I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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