Dual....:-)
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
