i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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