its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
