fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
