So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
