why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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