i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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