he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
