didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
