i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
