Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize