Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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