i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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