His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
