doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
