i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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