What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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