I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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