We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
