you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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