After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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