i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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