My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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