You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
