What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize