proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
