id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
