I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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