This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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