I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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