2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
