I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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