Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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