Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
