He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
