Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize