Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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