oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
