help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
