Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
