just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize