Dual....:-)
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
