Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
