In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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