i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
