after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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