hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
