Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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