At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
What a dumb baby whore.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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