it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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