wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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