you traded sex for a burrito?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
