I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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