Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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