i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
